William Matheson (nova_one) wrote,
William Matheson

  • Mood:

my wish is coming true all the time

Remember when I said that I wish that I could make as many mistakes as possible so that I could become wise?

Grrr. Yeah. Yay. Must... keep... smiling... =)

Basically Tanya told me I e-mailed that girl much too quickly. I was also quoting bits of the e-mail to her, about how much I appreciated her company and her intelligence, etc. etc.. and was summarily told that I sounded far too eager. I think she's right.

So, for the record (if any literate 14-year-old boys are reading this), letters to potential employers and letters to potential girls need to have completely different tones. Who knew that all the casual, laid-backness stuff that I'm starting to do in real life also applies to the electronic realm?

Well, now I know. And I really have to thank all my friends who are girls for giving me so much advice over the years and/or recent weeks. I've been soliciting a lot of opinion lately, but I think it's vital that I start taking self-improvement seriously. I'm never going to be a charismatic John Edwards or a cool Evan Brown or a dorky Ben Mulroney, but I can be the best Will Matheson I can be.

Remember when I first e-mailed my childhood crush, and the first reply said how happy she was to hear from me, how glad she was that I tracked her down, and how she often wondered what happened to me? And how I totally fucked it up by writing a bunch of desperation-laden e-mails over the following days, and even complaining that I hadn't heard from her for x amount of time? God, I sucked at life. The e-mails I've sent lately certainly aren't demanding, but they are way too gushy-gushy swooning-positive.

I spent a large part of today looking at the CPA video yearbook for my graduating year (1999). At first I was filled with regret, then with rage, but then I saw something funny (our former vice-principal, Ms. White, mopping the floors at Sackville High after being abducted by the Kingfishers) and then realized I needed to change my attitude. So I did. I want to use some of the footage to make a commentary on how some of the stuff that's done in high school looks really shallow, but that I was missing the point by only seeing the shallowness (and, more importantly, missing out on the fun). I believe that if I hadn't been elected to Student's Council, I wouldn't be the person I am today. That experience encouraged me, little by little, to start observing the habits of the preppy / happy people, and even now the learning is still paying off.
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