William Matheson (nova_one) wrote,
William Matheson

  • Mood:

what do I want?

I feel like I'm stuck in a bad movie about international intrigue that features lots of hotels and airports and tired traveling companions.

We had a meeting today, but there really isn't any new news, mostly because it's still the weekend. Once the machinery of government begins rolling again, we'll find out what's going to happen to us. The possibilities are excitingly and frustratingly endless. You name it, it could happen. The smart money is on us going to Ukraine shortly, though, if not on Wednesday when the Poles will travel to Warsaw.

Yesterday I took the elevator down to P11, the bottom floor of the hotel, 11 stories below the lobby. Then I climbed the stairs to the roof (35). I had to stop on 20 to catch my breath, after a few dozen stories, climbing stairs takes a lot of energy! =) I felt like I was in Final Fantasy VII climbing the stairs of the Shinra Building.

After that, I went for a swim and tried to float in my thoughts. I was reminded of the closing scene of Jurassic Park (the novel) where Dr. Grant and the kids are in a Costa Rican hotel pool, not allowed to leave the country.

"Nobody is going anywhere, Dr. Grant."

I think it was said with a smile. It'd be nice if I had the book with me. Anyway, I'm in a really weird state of mind right now.

When I get back to Halifax, I don't know what I'm going to do or what I'll want from my life. I have a few ideas... =) but right now all those goals seem so empty. Where can I find solace? Usually I'm too distracted with stuff to even think about needing peace and fulfillment. Anyway, this feeling doesn't worry me too much, because half of it is the same ol' "just left my job" feeling. You employed people out there probably know what I'm talking about, the way you feel completely empty and aimless when you stop working a job, even a job you hate.

Fortunately, the feeling doesn't last long. Neither will this.

(I'm really due for new icons. I don't actually look like any of them at the moment.)
Tags: alberta 2004

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