halp
Between what happened the other day and what happened just now, I am completely shaken up. In the long run, it will probably be for the best. Perhaps my treatment of the world as a canvas for my satire has gone too far. (Probably because I'm not as funny as I think I am.)
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I feel like my world is crashing in around me. I can't stop shaking. I feel like a reject, a failure of a person. I hope the sensation will pass. I am probably also overloaded on coffee, and that can't be helping.
As most of you know, I have a profile on a dating site. If you're curious and want some context to this, you'll want to read it now. I anticipate a major rewrite in the coming days. Here's why. Please give me your honest feedback. Do not worry a bit about hurting my feelings. I assure you I am already quite devastated and no constructive appraisal could do me harm, unless your advice is just bad. j/k See, I'm laughing a bit already!
****************************************
You were accepted as one of AUser’s Quiver matches! OkCupid suggests matches to users through a feature called Quiver. — Staff Robot
Feb 11, 2012 – 12:54pm
Hey there, PEI narcissist :0)
So, I haven't *read* Sex at Dawn, but I like sex at dawn. Does that count?
How are you at capturing the attention of toddlers?
Feb 11, 2012 – 1:30pm
Mmm, it might be a reflection of openness to experience that would make reading the book a more effective endeavour. It's not like the book is hokey New Age crap or anything like that; it just made me question my assumptions about basically everything around me. I see the world a bit differently now.
Eh, given my natural aptitude for the weird-uncle / omega-male role j/k I am not nearly as experienced with toddlers as I would probably otherwise be. I'm expressive, but I've never done Kiddy Talk™.
Feb 11, 2012 – 2:34pm
I'm allergic to Kiddy Talk™; so is my child.
What are you looking for in a mate? Who do you feel you were meant/made for?
Feb 11, 2012 – 2:46pm
Ah, that's a relief. :-) It's a shibboleth I'm just not willing to deal with.
I'm just looking for someone who turns my crank and is funny and fun to be around. Heh, "just", it's really a tall order because of the requirement for me to turn hers! Also I believe I encounter a lot of prejudice because I know a few (OK, very few) things and I (sometimes) think about stuff. This makes me undatable or even unfriendable to many, many people - almost regardless of whether or not they'd otherwise be, objectively, in my "league".
Feb 11, 2012 – 3:37pm
Do you ever consider seeking out professional women who "know a few things" and "think about stuff?"
Hmmm... Wherein lies the prejudice?
Feb 11, 2012 – 3:38pm
I believe a "bazinga!" is warranted.
Feb 11, 2012 – 3:47pm
That's a good idea. Unfortunately, I meet them seldom. And most of them are in fixed family groups or at least not living openly monogamy-defiant.
Yes, I've been getting "attach a 'Bazinga!'" as actual advice lately. While I like the TV show, I'm not going to model myself after Sheldon or any other sitcom character. Well, not anymore, anyway - when I was a kid I sort of "became" Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes. I envied his defiance and his imaginative capacity.
Feb 11, 2012 – 4:46pm
I was attaching a "bazinga" onto my comment.
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:01pm
Makes sense. There's the self-depreciating am-I-really-such-a-wellspring-of-knowled
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:24pm
Yeah, blue, you seem pretty full-of-shit to me :o)
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:30pm (I missed this message until I say later on that I missed it.)
And, I can guarantee, it's not your intelligence that is off-putting. It's the barrier you build around yourself with what is clearly a gift (writing) that is clearly impermeable, as you set it up. How about you focus your craft on flattering others as opposed to defending (and obsessing about) yourself? 'Just a thought.
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:31pm
I'm probably just thinking of some things a particular person said to me that were, to use the words of Dan Savage, "emotionally shredding". I probably care too much about what other people think. I also carry more than my fair share of pride. Sometimes it's a combustible combination.
I wasn't really aware of what I now presume was your intended tone from your last few messages, especially when you began by agreeing with my self-depreciating humour. You see, I'm the only one I allow to kick myself. j/k
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:31pm
Ha. Clearly impermeable. Kind of--but not quite--an oxymoron. 'Makes me giggle.
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:33pm (I missed this message completely and am unable to convey that I missed it.)
Dan Savage...hey...his stuff was recommended to me just last week.
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:35pm (I also missed this message completely and am unable to convey that I missed it.)
Here's the subtext translation:
"I like sex at dawn": I'd have sex with you if you were the right person. The right person might pick up on the fact that I'm flirting. I'm flirting because I'm a sapiosexual.
It kinda' went downhill from there :o)
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:36pm
If you're suggesting I am intellectually obtuse, I have to protest. Please consider that my place of childhood only got electricity in 1955.
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:37pm
* not talking of the whole Island, just the small part where I am kinda-sorta "from"
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:37pm
Einstein came from a place that was near a canton that gave women the right to vote in 1990.
'Got anything better?
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:44pm
Didn't know that.
By the way, I was not seriously defending my obtuseness on the grounds of being from a backwater. I was protesting what I thought might have been (and am now thinking is) your perception of my obtuseness. I didn't think that was fair. Even though it might be fair. I might really be seriously stupid. But I really don't want to be reminded of it.
Feb 11, 2012 – 7:27pm
Huh. Well, I've reached my limit :0)
I've flirted with you, and called you intelligent. I've revealed that I am sexually attracted to intelligence.
You've chucked up a wall, ergo bouncing my efforts back at me.
Perhaps from my profile you are not into me, and do not have the insight to see it, or civility to express it with grace.
Either way, I bid you adieu :0)
Feb 11, 2012 – 9:01pm
I didn't realize you were flirting, which makes me unfit for polite company anyway. I thought your playful insults were meant more to put me in my place than to play. My paranoia runs deep, which makes me unfit, etc..
But you're right about me not having the civility to express it with grace. More accurately, I didn't see enough to decide whether I would or would not be interested. I'm very sorry to have vexed you. I really didn't want to.
Feb 11, 2012 – 9:10pm
Also, I missed one of your messages:
"And, I can guarantee, it's not your intelligence that is off-putting. It's the barrier you build around yourself with what is clearly a gift (writing) that is clearly impermeable, as you set it up. How about you focus your craft on flattering others as opposed to defending (and obsessing about) yourself? 'Just a thought."
You're right, I am putting up a barrier. My knee-jerk response is that it's not my business to flatter others on a profile meant to advertise myself. ... But, come to think of it, being ready with sincere approbation and praise for others is a good trait that I ought to cultivate and subsequently advertise. It could be (I'm not being sarcastic here) as simple as HUMBLE MAN SEEKS SAME.
But to say I'm humble, would, right now, be a bit of a lie. So I thought, why not be open about the fact that I'm a bit of a conceited blowhard and make it into a big joke?
But nobody else seems to be laughing. Nobody sees that the egoism is actually a self-depreciating act, that I'm almost trying to evoke Joaquin Phoenix. You're probably about the most intelligent woman I'll ever communicate with, and you didn't get it. It's not your intelligence, it's the walls I put up - they're too high for anyone else but me. It's time for some new material and a different delivery. Maybe not tonight or tomorrow, but soon, after I've cooled off a bit. And I thank you!
Feb 11, 2012 – 9:12pm
I passed my whole childhood being picked on and at 30 years old I suffer the lingering effects. It's a bit pathetic, but at least now I'm more aware of the situation. I'm sorry that you had to witness this. You are probably accustomed to meeting other adults on services such as this.
Feb 11, 2012 – 9:47pm
If you're actually trying to attract someone (the premise I assume, given the raison d'etre of this site), it helps to not repel flirtation. Of course, I guess it helps to first be open enough to actually perceive it. Bah. A less complex approach would be to just be kind.
On the other hand, if you're looking for a psychological/emotional masochist, you might just be onto something. You'd probably attract someone with borderline personality disorder. I'm being totally frank here. That's something you might want. If it's not, yeah, a different approach might be good.
Now, I'll be honest. I find you rude and, as such, I'm not really interested in reading much into your motivations. Whether or not I'm perfectly accurate in how I perceive you also doesn't preoccupy me. I want to be civil, and perhaps offer you a bit of advice. I don't expect you to take it, but I like to be helpful.
'Best advice I could give: Lighten up ;o)
Anyhoo, I guess I'll do what others have done to me when it's clear that a match will not happen. I'm going to block you. Whether or not you're ready to find what you're looking for, you're certainly not right for me.
Best of luck on your journey.
Oh, and there's a local poly community. You do know that, right? Plenty of folks have open relationships.
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I feel like my world is crashing in around me. I can't stop shaking. I feel like a reject, a failure of a person. I hope the sensation will pass. I am probably also overloaded on coffee, and that can't be helping.
As most of you know, I have a profile on a dating site. If you're curious and want some context to this, you'll want to read it now. I anticipate a major rewrite in the coming days. Here's why. Please give me your honest feedback. Do not worry a bit about hurting my feelings. I assure you I am already quite devastated and no constructive appraisal could do me harm, unless your advice is just bad. j/k See, I'm laughing a bit already!
****************************************
You were accepted as one of AUser’s Quiver matches! OkCupid suggests matches to users through a feature called Quiver. — Staff Robot
Feb 11, 2012 – 12:54pm
Hey there, PEI narcissist :0)
So, I haven't *read* Sex at Dawn, but I like sex at dawn. Does that count?
How are you at capturing the attention of toddlers?
Feb 11, 2012 – 1:30pm
Mmm, it might be a reflection of openness to experience that would make reading the book a more effective endeavour. It's not like the book is hokey New Age crap or anything like that; it just made me question my assumptions about basically everything around me. I see the world a bit differently now.
Eh, given my natural aptitude for the weird-uncle / omega-male role j/k I am not nearly as experienced with toddlers as I would probably otherwise be. I'm expressive, but I've never done Kiddy Talk™.
Feb 11, 2012 – 2:34pm
I'm allergic to Kiddy Talk™; so is my child.
What are you looking for in a mate? Who do you feel you were meant/made for?
Feb 11, 2012 – 2:46pm
Ah, that's a relief. :-) It's a shibboleth I'm just not willing to deal with.
I'm just looking for someone who turns my crank and is funny and fun to be around. Heh, "just", it's really a tall order because of the requirement for me to turn hers! Also I believe I encounter a lot of prejudice because I know a few (OK, very few) things and I (sometimes) think about stuff. This makes me undatable or even unfriendable to many, many people - almost regardless of whether or not they'd otherwise be, objectively, in my "league".
Feb 11, 2012 – 3:37pm
Do you ever consider seeking out professional women who "know a few things" and "think about stuff?"
Hmmm... Wherein lies the prejudice?
Feb 11, 2012 – 3:38pm
I believe a "bazinga!" is warranted.
Feb 11, 2012 – 3:47pm
That's a good idea. Unfortunately, I meet them seldom. And most of them are in fixed family groups or at least not living openly monogamy-defiant.
Yes, I've been getting "attach a 'Bazinga!'" as actual advice lately. While I like the TV show, I'm not going to model myself after Sheldon or any other sitcom character. Well, not anymore, anyway - when I was a kid I sort of "became" Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes. I envied his defiance and his imaginative capacity.
Feb 11, 2012 – 4:46pm
I was attaching a "bazinga" onto my comment.
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:01pm
Makes sense. There's the self-depreciating am-I-really-such-a-wellspring-of-knowled
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:24pm
Yeah, blue, you seem pretty full-of-shit to me :o)
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:30pm (I missed this message until I say later on that I missed it.)
And, I can guarantee, it's not your intelligence that is off-putting. It's the barrier you build around yourself with what is clearly a gift (writing) that is clearly impermeable, as you set it up. How about you focus your craft on flattering others as opposed to defending (and obsessing about) yourself? 'Just a thought.
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:31pm
I'm probably just thinking of some things a particular person said to me that were, to use the words of Dan Savage, "emotionally shredding". I probably care too much about what other people think. I also carry more than my fair share of pride. Sometimes it's a combustible combination.
I wasn't really aware of what I now presume was your intended tone from your last few messages, especially when you began by agreeing with my self-depreciating humour. You see, I'm the only one I allow to kick myself. j/k
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:31pm
Ha. Clearly impermeable. Kind of--but not quite--an oxymoron. 'Makes me giggle.
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:33pm (I missed this message completely and am unable to convey that I missed it.)
Dan Savage...hey...his stuff was recommended to me just last week.
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:35pm (I also missed this message completely and am unable to convey that I missed it.)
Here's the subtext translation:
"I like sex at dawn": I'd have sex with you if you were the right person. The right person might pick up on the fact that I'm flirting. I'm flirting because I'm a sapiosexual.
It kinda' went downhill from there :o)
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:36pm
If you're suggesting I am intellectually obtuse, I have to protest. Please consider that my place of childhood only got electricity in 1955.
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:37pm
* not talking of the whole Island, just the small part where I am kinda-sorta "from"
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:37pm
Einstein came from a place that was near a canton that gave women the right to vote in 1990.
'Got anything better?
Feb 11, 2012 – 5:44pm
Didn't know that.
By the way, I was not seriously defending my obtuseness on the grounds of being from a backwater. I was protesting what I thought might have been (and am now thinking is) your perception of my obtuseness. I didn't think that was fair. Even though it might be fair. I might really be seriously stupid. But I really don't want to be reminded of it.
Feb 11, 2012 – 7:27pm
Huh. Well, I've reached my limit :0)
I've flirted with you, and called you intelligent. I've revealed that I am sexually attracted to intelligence.
You've chucked up a wall, ergo bouncing my efforts back at me.
Perhaps from my profile you are not into me, and do not have the insight to see it, or civility to express it with grace.
Either way, I bid you adieu :0)
Feb 11, 2012 – 9:01pm
I didn't realize you were flirting, which makes me unfit for polite company anyway. I thought your playful insults were meant more to put me in my place than to play. My paranoia runs deep, which makes me unfit, etc..
But you're right about me not having the civility to express it with grace. More accurately, I didn't see enough to decide whether I would or would not be interested. I'm very sorry to have vexed you. I really didn't want to.
Feb 11, 2012 – 9:10pm
Also, I missed one of your messages:
"And, I can guarantee, it's not your intelligence that is off-putting. It's the barrier you build around yourself with what is clearly a gift (writing) that is clearly impermeable, as you set it up. How about you focus your craft on flattering others as opposed to defending (and obsessing about) yourself? 'Just a thought."
You're right, I am putting up a barrier. My knee-jerk response is that it's not my business to flatter others on a profile meant to advertise myself. ... But, come to think of it, being ready with sincere approbation and praise for others is a good trait that I ought to cultivate and subsequently advertise. It could be (I'm not being sarcastic here) as simple as HUMBLE MAN SEEKS SAME.
But to say I'm humble, would, right now, be a bit of a lie. So I thought, why not be open about the fact that I'm a bit of a conceited blowhard and make it into a big joke?
But nobody else seems to be laughing. Nobody sees that the egoism is actually a self-depreciating act, that I'm almost trying to evoke Joaquin Phoenix. You're probably about the most intelligent woman I'll ever communicate with, and you didn't get it. It's not your intelligence, it's the walls I put up - they're too high for anyone else but me. It's time for some new material and a different delivery. Maybe not tonight or tomorrow, but soon, after I've cooled off a bit. And I thank you!
Feb 11, 2012 – 9:12pm
I passed my whole childhood being picked on and at 30 years old I suffer the lingering effects. It's a bit pathetic, but at least now I'm more aware of the situation. I'm sorry that you had to witness this. You are probably accustomed to meeting other adults on services such as this.
Feb 11, 2012 – 9:47pm
If you're actually trying to attract someone (the premise I assume, given the raison d'etre of this site), it helps to not repel flirtation. Of course, I guess it helps to first be open enough to actually perceive it. Bah. A less complex approach would be to just be kind.
On the other hand, if you're looking for a psychological/emotional masochist, you might just be onto something. You'd probably attract someone with borderline personality disorder. I'm being totally frank here. That's something you might want. If it's not, yeah, a different approach might be good.
Now, I'll be honest. I find you rude and, as such, I'm not really interested in reading much into your motivations. Whether or not I'm perfectly accurate in how I perceive you also doesn't preoccupy me. I want to be civil, and perhaps offer you a bit of advice. I don't expect you to take it, but I like to be helpful.
'Best advice I could give: Lighten up ;o)
Anyhoo, I guess I'll do what others have done to me when it's clear that a match will not happen. I'm going to block you. Whether or not you're ready to find what you're looking for, you're certainly not right for me.
Best of luck on your journey.
Oh, and there's a local poly community. You do know that, right? Plenty of folks have open relationships.