William Matheson (nova_one) wrote,
William Matheson

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I'm in a quandary.

I really want to get out of town. Or, to be more accurate, get out of my parent's house. I'm 27, and I've been here far too long. Being here at 28, 29... God forbid, 30? This cannot be. It will not pass. I need to be out with other adults more often, or I'm never going to fix my social ills.

So I was even considering going to Toronto, because that's where my cousin and her husband are going, and I'll be helping them move. (More on that when the details are finalized.) But by far the easiest thing to do education-wise is to just go to Saint Mary's. Let's say I go to Toronto. I'll probably have to work for a year just to get on stable footing. If I were doing an arts program, that would be no big deal. But a year will be enough time for me to forget all the chemistry, precal, and physics that I've learned this summer, and it will make it very difficult for me going in. Applications are closing / closed now anyway. Kudos to SMU for taking anyone at anytime and not requiring me to use some ridiculous provincial undergraduate application system, too.

I guess I should go to Saint Mary's anyway, but take out a student loan so that I can live in town while I go. I'll be able to make the money back - I could do it even with the skills I have now, and it should be even easier with a good technical background with a solid foundation of math and physics. I have a bit of money from Japan, but I was only planning on covering tuition. It's enough for two years tuition-only, but no more. And I've been spending money, mostly on consumables, at an alarming rate. I've spent money on books, dating websites, new clothes, new shoes, a gym membership, going out with friends, voice lessons... I don't regret any expense except for the dating website membership, but my current level of spending is completely unsustainable. It's hard to believe how at this time last year I was pinching every single penny yen.

I looked at UPEI... oddly enough, it's actually slightly more expensive than Saint Mary's. (Dal is completely out of the running, it's like $1000 more expensive than SMU. MSV doesn't tempt me either, mostly because the location is absurd and I hate the #80 bus with a passion after having been enslaved to it for so many years.) The base tuition at UPEI is slightly lower, but the ancillary fees are greater. I could potentially live at Grandma's in Albion Cross and drive the '96 Chevy into town every day, but in a real sense it's just trading one set of problems for another. If I feel stretched now, with my life in one place but sleeping and eating in another, this will just exacerbate it.

So I think the things to do are these:

1. Get my pre-cal grade, and if it's above, say, 75%, formally apply to Saint Mary's. (If it's just barely 70%, science is probably not for me, and I'll need to concentrate on performing instead.)

2. Once applied and registered, apply for a loan. (Perhaps they won't give me one if they figure I can live at home. But I can't live at home: it's crushing me spiritually and socially. If I were in my early twenties, that would be one thing. But I'm 27. I have handsome grey hair already. I like the grey hair, but I don't like the incongruity people have to process when they learn I'm still living here. And I'm sick of watching all my cousins and siblings move on to bigger and better things all the time while I'm spinning my tires.)

3. If I can find a way to be in town, or even if not, I can tutor English, help people with papers, or work part-time (even at a McJob)... I can't take these sequestered weekends anymore. I hate having to run my life around the Metro Transit schedule.

4. LIVE!

Oh, and somewhere in there, help C. & C. move to Toronto. ;-) I was talking to C. earlier, she had a lot of good ideas, and in a few minutes I'm going to call my stepsister and see what she thinks. She'll be sympathetic, as she asked one time if I got paid to live here. ;-) Not that I don't think living here isn't a fair deal. It's just time to move on from being the kid to being an adult.

Edit: Add "applying to York" to the list above. If I were accepted to York, I would probably go there. U of T is no longer accepting science applications, with the exception of Scarborough.

Edit-edit: SMU or MUN options wouldn't require me to take out a loan this year, and by the end of the first year I'll be that much more sure of where I'm going. The very worst that could happen is that I'll be broke and have to go overseas to teach again. Boo-hoo, right? ;-)
Tags: problems

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