awakeI first read this article a while ago and remarked on the character's personal resemblance. But it wasn't until last night that I realized something more profound.
Generally, I have a slap or sting in my remarks, and I've been semi-consciously using them to drive people away. But why? Is it because I still fear being judged and rejected, to the point where I cut people off before they even get to make that choice? I act smug and proud. It's OK to be proud, but it's not good to injure the pride of others with my putridly odious remarks.
Being harassed and picked on all through school has left me with the legacy of always looking for the quick comeback, even when it isn't warranted. I think from now on I will try this, and use my predilection to my advantage: When a remark springs to mind, before releasing it I will first think about phrasing it in an inviting way (or not saying it at all). I should probably also think about what people will find funny, but let's take this one step at a time. Besides, there's little harm in making an unfunny joke, but there's a lot of damage done in making cruel jokes, funny or unfunny. (The funny ones are sometimes forgiven, but generally only by friends.)
I also have this idea that using slight left-handed compliments is an important tool when meeting women. While the jury may still be out on it, I grabbed onto this idea a little too enthusiastically, and used this idea as a means to pour out my acerbic barbs without shame or remorse. I'm definitely reevaluating this strategy, among others. I'm much closer to being the person I want to be than I was a few months ago, but I still have a long way to go.
See also: Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 5