William Matheson (nova_one) wrote,
William Matheson
nova_one

Burninating

I totally rocked my math test this morning. I also had the rare experience of actually understanding and having a comfort level with everything that was presented in the second half of the class (after the test). I can do this! Never let yourself be told that you can't do math - if lazy and impatient people like me can do it, you can too!

So it's the same old story - out kicking butt and taking names. Better make some time to practise my duets or C. will kill me and it'll shake poor S. off her rhythm. I'm thinking a lot - the mornings are the hardest for me: my brain is groggy and slow and it leaves me with too much room to worry. The rest of the time is not so bad, though! Things make sense in a way that they never did before - my life is rich and vibrant and filled with possibilities in a way it never seemed to be before.

The troubles are these:

1) I have a hard time focusing on one thing - there is a Japanese proverb that says 多芸は無芸 (たげい は むげい - tagei wa mugei), "Too many accomplishments make no accomplishment." A book I have shows a picture of a guy playing four instruments at once while the townsfolk look on, wincing and covering their ears. A friend recently said to me, "You're so good at everything you try - I'm so jealous!" I'm clearly not good at humility, though - don't test me there. ;-) She also hasn't seen me bowl. (For what it's worth, I used to fake humility and that was worse. If you're lucky enough to be in a position to receive compliments, accept them graciously and with a smile!)

2) Despite my epiphany of last week, I sense that I'm yet putting some people off. Much like anybody else, I'm still learning the ropes - being a newcomer to the real game of life, I make plenty of mistakes, but I pick up on them on my own and learn from them on my own. I've got a tougher hide now, and I imagine people will call me insensitive (especially those who knew me before).

This is kind of a joke, though, because I never was a sensitive person, excepting as regards myself (and yes, it was as odious as it sounds - I thank my friends for having called me on it when the chips were down). I could / can be considerate, but trying extra hard to be a "gentle, caring soul" was a little ridiculous. I mean, I care - I just have a funny way of expressing it. I do a lot of things my own way, and I have far less shame about it - that's the basic way I roll, which may not suit everyone, though it's certainly a place to build from.

Still, it's a much better set of problems than what I had before! And I got a 93 in chemistry. WOOT
Tags: friends, school, socializing, summer
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 0 comments