William Matheson (nova_one) wrote,
William Matheson

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I totally rocked my math test this morning. I also had the rare experience of actually understanding and having a comfort level with everything that was presented in the second half of the class (after the test). I can do this! Never let yourself be told that you can't do math - if lazy and impatient people like me can do it, you can too!

So it's the same old story - out kicking butt and taking names. Better make some time to practise my duets or C. will kill me and it'll shake poor S. off her rhythm. I'm thinking a lot - the mornings are the hardest for me: my brain is groggy and slow and it leaves me with too much room to worry. The rest of the time is not so bad, though! Things make sense in a way that they never did before - my life is rich and vibrant and filled with possibilities in a way it never seemed to be before.

The troubles are these:

1) I have a hard time focusing on one thing - there is a Japanese proverb that says 多芸は無芸 (たげい は むげい - tagei wa mugei), "Too many accomplishments make no accomplishment." A book I have shows a picture of a guy playing four instruments at once while the townsfolk look on, wincing and covering their ears. A friend recently said to me, "You're so good at everything you try - I'm so jealous!" I'm clearly not good at humility, though - don't test me there. ;-) She also hasn't seen me bowl. (For what it's worth, I used to fake humility and that was worse. If you're lucky enough to be in a position to receive compliments, accept them graciously and with a smile!)

2) Despite my epiphany of last week, I sense that I'm yet putting some people off. Much like anybody else, I'm still learning the ropes - being a newcomer to the real game of life, I make plenty of mistakes, but I pick up on them on my own and learn from them on my own. I've got a tougher hide now, and I imagine people will call me insensitive (especially those who knew me before).

This is kind of a joke, though, because I never was a sensitive person, excepting as regards myself (and yes, it was as odious as it sounds - I thank my friends for having called me on it when the chips were down). I could / can be considerate, but trying extra hard to be a "gentle, caring soul" was a little ridiculous. I mean, I care - I just have a funny way of expressing it. I do a lot of things my own way, and I have far less shame about it - that's the basic way I roll, which may not suit everyone, though it's certainly a place to build from.

Still, it's a much better set of problems than what I had before! And I got a 93 in chemistry. WOOT
Tags: friends, school, socializing, summer

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