William Matheson (nova_one) wrote,
William Matheson

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missed connections + moving?

Confession: I’ve been studiously avoiding Tanya and the entire B. clan for the past few months. While I think it was a good (albeit painful) decision that helped me start to move on, I’ve just found out that part of my justification for this was a fraud. That is to say, I got an apologetic e-mail from Tanya today.

She sent it in October.

I double-checked the headers to be sure, and yes – she really did send it in October, on the 18th, maybe a week or so after my original e-mail.

There wasn’t a lot to it, just an acknowledgement that she was being swamped, etc. I was convinced that she was continuing to be rude to me, especially after she’d dumped plans with me repeatedly, and the last straw for me was when she unilaterally dumped our plans (and didn’t call or write about it) in favour of plans with… well, her more-than-boyfriend Alex. Ugh. Just how more-than was the singular depression of my entire summer and early fall.

I guess I should be glad I didn’t get the e-mail. It may have given me false hope to cling to. I’m glad I’ve got it now, when I have the good fortune to be dating someone sweet, cute, and magnanimous.

Ugh, heart sinking again. It’s almost like Spring ’06 all over again. I sunk to the floor when I got the e-mail. My head started swimming.

Must… get… back… to… reality… You know, like schoolwork, or the AFC Championship. Yes, there’s lots’ going on!

On the laptop front, it looks like it’ll ship on the 29th, so having it in time for my birthday is a long shot, but I guess that’s okay since I bought it primarily with scholarship money that I received in the Fall. I didn’t even think I’d still have that money, but with good fortune and insane penny-pinching, I was able to stretch it out. Now I’m broke =) but everything’s paid for. And I’m getting lots of exercise every day with those two 25-minute walks.

Heather told me today that she found it kind of annoying that I live out here. (Gee, I find it kind of annoying sometimes, too!) =) If I were a normal person of my age, I’d just find a job and move out. I could afford the time away from my studies, even perhaps with being in the play, as my courses are much, much easier this semester. Still, I think it’s better that I stay put, because I don’t know what I’ll be doing for the summer yet, and getting all uprooted just for the sake of ten weeks’ convenience doesn’t seem worth it.

Annoyingly, I covet my own place more and more every day, even though I’ve learned to make the most of living here. Funny how that works.

I feel better already.
Tags: communication, communication delays, commutes, computers, delays, e-mail, friends, home, laptop, moving, shipping

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